I'm able to play golf, eat normal, drink moderately and make myself look normal, except my hair. As I'm getting to look normal again, I can feel more gap between my outside appearance and inside feelings. People will stop asking me how I'm doing when my hair grows back. Some people probably forget I had cancer.
The other night, I got snapped off for no reason. I have a night cap for my head and didn't have it when I needed. Without my consciousness, I was thinking "I wish I didn't have cancer so I wouldn't need a night cap or whatsoever." Once I start having such a thought, it's hard to compose myself strongly. I must admit that I struggle to accept the fact I'm angry at cancer. I've tried to seal my anger inside of me and learned how to not let it bother me, but still, once in a while it comes to the surface as a reminder. Dealing with depression and uncertainty is far more harder than actual cancer. I need to learn how to build more strength in me.
About Me
- beagledumbo
- San Jose, CA, United States
- I was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 weeks before my 34th birthday. I had mastectomy and chemotherapy (also egg freezing) from December 2007 through May 2008. So far my subsequent check-ups continue to say I'm cancer-free. Of course, once you've had cancer, you don't feel like you are fully free of it--but life goes on, sometimes even better than before!
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