My new friend

I got a call from my oncologist office the other day. "We have another Japanese female patient who is about your age. She is doing chemo therapy right now. Would you like to make a connection with her and possibly help each other?" I said "sure! I'd love to." After she and I had few emails and telephone correspondence, we decided to meet. It's like my version of "Nordie's at Noon" :)

She and I go to the same general surgeon and oncologist. She found her lump in October last year. We work in the same field, public accounting. We will be both busy with tax season. She played golf in college. (She is better than me.) yes, there are so many things in common between us! amazing!

She is doing chemo therapy first and then surgery. We are on the same drugs in the same time schedule. She gave me real helpful advise about chemo. I showed her my incisions and told her about surgery and recovery. Talking with her got rid of most of my fear and concern about chemo. She is very perky and very positive. I thought I had a good attitude towards my situation, but she's got so much more strength and confidence. I thank God for sending her to my life.

Our goal is to play golf together this summer. Until then, we'll fight it together.

Chemo appt is scheduled.

Right now I'm in the middle of fertility treatment that needs to be worked around my cycle. It takes about 2 weeks to complete, then I can start chemo therapy. If everything goes well, I'm starting chemo therapy on Feb 7, Thursday. I picked Thursday treatment, thinking I can rest on weekends if I need to. I will have 8 sessions of chemo every 2 weeks. It means my last session is in mid May. wow... it's longer than the tax season! I hope I can make it. I mean both tax season and chemo. :-)

Chemo and ferfility

Chemotherapy could cause permanent infertility. About 80% of women in 30's would have an ability back to become pregnant after chemo, but certain chemotherapy medications can cause ovarian damage. I guess it is hard to say even with statistics since everyone has a different body character.

I went to see a fertility doctor in Stanford last week. She explained about the idea of how egg freezing works. Although freezing unfertilized eggs is not as successful as fertilized ones, it is still the only option to preserve fertility under my circumstance. I couldn't make a decision when I was in her office, so I told her I would get back to her later. I sat down in my car and kept thinking what I should do. I made phone calls to my friends for advise. At first, I was leaning towards not to do it, because I want things to happen naturally and normally. I would like to have kids one day, but I don't know what I would be doing 5 years later and I will need a partner to start family. Things are too uncertain. However, other part of me thought that freezing eggs will bring peace of mind and sense of relief for the next several years, besides, there is no risk to cancer treatment. After I consider all the pros and cons, I decided to go for it. It is totally personal choice. I feel fortunate that I'm in the situation where I can make a choice to get one of the best fertility treatments. This treatment takes about 2 weeks. My chemotherapy will start after this is done.

Chemo Cap

My co-workers and I have been into knitting for last several years. I love knitting! It's fun and therapeutic, although I haven't made anything recently.

There are cute knitting chemo caps. I like those 3. I'll make one and my co-worker will make me two :) I think it's a bit bigger than regular beanies.

More patterns are available on this website.

http://www.headhuggers.org/patterns/patterns.htm

Haircut

I got a haircut. It's short! I don't remember when I had my hair this short. It must be when I was in grammar school. My hair will be short (or none) for a while. I like the new look :)

Wig shopping

I went wig shopping yesterday. My oncologist told me there is a place just for breast cancer patients, called "The Next Step". (http://www.nextstepboutique.com/) They have many nice wigs, scarves and hats. People are so nice and helpful in the store. I was amazed. They know why I'm there and what exactly I need, so I don't have to explain at all. I found 2 wigs I liked. I asked my girlfriend to come with me. She was curious to try them on, but realized it's not for fun so she got hesitated. My hair has been medium-long for over 10 years. When I put my wig, I looked like my mom in 70s :)
http://www.community-newspapers.com/archives/lgwt/20070822/cover1.shtml

It is great to know that there are many people who had gone through breast cancer and they are supportive to one another.

Mom back to Japan

My mom went back to Japan yesterday. She was here for almost a month. It was about time for her to figure out how the door locks work, how to use laundry machine, and how to say "no thank you" to solicitors on the phone. From the moment she heard the bad news from me, it must have been stressful for her until she saw me recovering well. She thought I would be in bed suffering for a while, but I wasn't. Instead of taking physical care of me, she entertained visitors with food and coffee.

I went to college from my parent's house when I was in Japan. I talked to my mom about school and friends every day, so she knows all my friends. After I left home and came here, she hasn' t had a chance to meet my friends. This past 4 weeks, she met many of my friends here and enjoyed spending time with them. She totally caught up with my history of friends. She even asked some of them to keep their eyes on me :) It is such a blessing that she was able to come and help me go through this. I can't thank her enough.

Next step

I had an appt with my oncologist last Friday. He is a very good doctor as well as my surgeons. I had a good feeling with him and his staff. He explained contents of pathology report from my surgery. His treatment plan is chemotherapy for 16 weeks and hormone therapy for 5 years. To make sure that there is no cancer in bones and liver, chest x-ray and blood test were taken.

I went to see him again today (Monday). Test results came back and they are good, so my body is almost ready for chemotherapy. He explained about side effects of chemo therapy. It is to kill all growing(dividing) cells in my body. I knew I will have to do chemo, so there was no surprise. The next step is starting. I can hide the fact that I lost my breast, but not hair loss and skin change. Although I know this is temporary, losing femininity would be a sensitive topic. My incisions from surgery are healing quickly and I didn't feel sick during the recovery. My real challenge is this step, beating cancer and living with cancer. My oncologist referred me to an obgyn doctor in Stanford, because one of the side effects from chemo is possible permanent infertility. I don't have any plans to have children right now, but I would like to have some in the future. I'll see what kind of options are available for me. I'm lucky there are effective medications to cure the disease and available options for my future.

First day back

Today was my first day back to work. I didn't feel like I was gone almost for 4 weeks. It's nice to be back to the normal schedule. Actually, I felt good every time I said "Happy New Year" to clients. It makes me appreciate that I have today, tomorrow, this week, this month and this year to enjoy what I do. It makes me believe I'm entitled to receive what life offers.

Happy New Year!

Wishing you and your family good health, much happiness and success in 2008!