New Start

I received an email from Iris's husband, Sam, to inform people that he and his daughter are going to move back to San Francisco where his family lives. He is going to sell the house in south bay, as well as furniture, electronics, etc. Iris loved the Japanese garden they had in their front yard.

I don't know if the cancer treatment made me emotionally weak or I'm just getting old. My big tears come out very quickly when I think of her. One day, we cried together, thinking we did something wrong in life and we got punished. Then, we said to each other "No, you are not a bad person. That's not why we got cancer."

There are things we can't understand. There are people we can't understand. It's frustrating when we can't make sense or feel unfair. Recently I often find myself being emotionally over-sensitive, because I feel I'm outside the circle or I'm not one of the people in the crowd. I feel jealous when I see a woman with nice boobs. I can't look at Victoria's secret catalog. Maybe I'm still angry at cancer. But life goes on. I need to move on. God is watching us how we move on. Iris must be so proud how Sam makes his decisions and does right things, but she would scold me for being a wimp :)

Squaw Valley

I'm supposed to be SUPER busy at work during tax season, but I'm good at giving myself an excuse to have some time off from work. I was at Squaw Valley for the weekend.

well, I was never good at skiing so I switched to snowboard about 6 years ago, but I only get to go up to the mountain once or twice during the season. I haven't had a chance to develop my skills... I'm still a bad snowboarder... By the time I get my feelings back, I fell down enough times and my body isn't too happy to practice more. ughhhhhhh. I will have to go up there more next winter!

Hallmark's cancer card

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This morning, I saw this segment on Today's show. Hallmark makes cards for cancer patient with cute rhyme like:

"Cancer is a villain who doesn't play fair ... but it can't dim your spirit, and it can't silence prayer."

hmmmmm, am I glad I didn't get one of those. They said that they created them because people had a hard time knowing what to say:

"They said, 'I don't know what to say during a difficult time, so I don't say anything at all,' " Steffens said. "So again there's an opportunity there to help them talk through these tough situations that they're dealing with, and to foster that communication."

The guy on the show had a real good point. I must agree with him. Yes, it's supposed to be difficult to find what to say to cancer people, because cancer is life-threatening and devastating. You are supposed to struggle to find the right thing to say.

"I don't know what to say to her. oh! Hallmark has cards for me!" ...... ummmmmm, I don't think so... This is the time for a blank card or a plain sheet of notepaper, one on which you write your very own words, by hand, from the heart.

I always love hallmark's cards (my sister worked for Hallmark Japan for 3 years), but those sentimental greeting card specifically addressing the illness in a rhyming manner seems gross profitting.