Drainage taken out

Last appt with my plastic surgeon this year. He injected 60cc of saline and took the drainage out. I thought it would be painful to take it out, but it wasn't. I'll see him after I'm completely done with follow-up treatments.

I also went to see my general surgeon. First appt after surgery. My incisions are healing well. He referred me to the oncologist. This will be the next challenge. According to my own research, chemotherapy would be the standard treatment in my case. My work will be busy for next 3 and half months. Many chemo patients work throughout the treatments to keep things as normal as possible. I know that's what I'm going to do. I won't know for sure what my oncologist recommends until I see him next Friday, but I'm ready.

Both my general surgeon and plastic surgeon had good smile on their faces when they saw me. They were more serious before surgery, of course. They didn't make any jokes. They were more humanlike than just doctors today because we knew that our first step to beat this disease was successful.

After Christmas Sale

There is a small shopping mall in front of my place. My mom and I walked over there yesterday. I wanted to go to the hallmark store. We didn't expect after Christmas sale as much, but here is what we found. I got one for me. My mom thought about it over night and got one for her today.

It makes us smile especially the penguin. I can't stop playing :)

Nordie's at Noon

One of my girlfriends gave me this book, "Nordie's at Noon", the personal stories of 4 young women diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 30 or younger. Once a month, they met at Nordstrom's Cafe for lunch to share their journeys of life after a cancer diagnosis. It is written chronicle of 4 women's fight. They all underwent mastectomy and chemotherapy. These are young women with a child, with husbands, with a wedding date, and with hopes and dreams for the future. Cancer casts a shadow over all these plans, but they are so courageous and inspirational.

I read up to the chapter of their follow-up treatment(chemotherapy after surgery) so far. I can totally relate to them and see myself in these women. I'm one of them and I feel like I know them. Unfortunately and sadly, two of them had a recurrence within two years. Patti passed away after four-year battle and Jana passed away after eight-year battle with breast cancer. I have to admit it gives me more fear of this battle I just started. At the same time, this book makes me realize that my cancer diagnosis brought life, love, happiness and friendship into my world and I have to treasure them every day. This is a great book about living life to its fullest.

My friends have told me I have a good attitude towards my situation. I had to find my inner strength and I have to continue to build more. This book will always remind me that I'm not alone and help me go on my long journey with hopes.

Merry Christmas

Wishing You and Yours the Happiest of Holidays!

May your holidays be filled with happiness and health, good cheer, and the precious warmth of family together.

Shopping is always fun.

My mom and I went to farmers market this morning. (again :-) It was a beautiful sunny day. My mom hasn't had a chance to go different places yet so we decided to go shopping to feel some Christmas spirits in Los Gatos. We didn't wanna go to the mall where people are stressed with last minute shopping. In downtown Los Gatos, there are individually owned stores and restaurants nicely commingled with several well known retailers. We walked around and did window shopping for about 2 hours. When we go shopping, we are more like friends or sisters rather than mother and daughter :) My mom lives with my younger sister and they share purses, jewelries, and clothes. I got those three tops for her for Christmas. I'm sure my sister will wear them, too.

Flowers

Thank you!

Doctor's appt - 4th

I had an appt with plastic surgeon this afternoon. I'm still collecting fluid in drainage and doctor will take out tubes and drainage next week. As the swelling went down, my pain went down as well. I didn't take pain meds yesterday except bed time. I feel a lot better!

It's been 10days since my surgery. I think my body is finally getting used to the change.

Dancing to recover

This is the article from San Jose Mercury News on Dec 16, 2007.
http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_7736267?IADID=Search-www.mercurynews.com-www.mercurynews.com
Ballet dancer Tiffany Glenn was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer in June 2006 and she was only 27 years old. After going through mastectomy, radiation therapy and chemotherapy, she is back to dancing in San Jose for Nutcracker this Thursday, 20th.

There are many women who are inspiring and amazing, someone who makes a difference in other people's life. She is certainly one of them. When she was first diagnosed, she was concerned how it would affect the next ballet season. I thought about how bad the surgery scar would look and how long I would not be able to play golf, when my doctor told me that I have cancer. I also thought about the capability of breast feeding for babies although I have no actual plans to have babies. I realized that I have so many things I want to do in my life. I realized the importance of having goals in life, no matter how big the goals are.

Doctor's appt - 3rd

My plastic surgeon called me yesterday(Sunday) to see if we can do injection on Sunday or Monday. We decided to do it on today, Monday. I was still in pain yesterday when he called and thought I could wait one more day. He put 60cc today. I noticed over the weekend that it's swelling under armpit and it's a bit puffy. My doctor looked at it and called my general surgeon. He told me to put heat pads.

The amount of fluid collection went down from yesterday and I didn't have much pain this morning. I slept good. Since I was feeling good, I drove when I went to the appt. It would be a lot easier if my car is automatic. Oh well, but that's how well I'm recovering!

weekend visitors

My friends came to see me this past weekend. Some of them were hesitated to visit or even contact me until they know I was doing well. Yes, I was in pain, but it's totally manageable. I'd rather have people over and chat with them than sit down on a couch doing nothing. After the surgery, I received emails and phone calls from my wonderful friends who are concerned. I was very glad to say that everything went well and I was ready for visitors. I realized one of the hardest part of this whole thing has just passed.

My mom has a little cheat note to write down names and info of my friends who came to see me. Although she doesn't speak or understand English enough to interact, she can see who they are and she appreciates how supportive they are to me as much as I do. This is such a blessing.

(My girlfriend gave me a beagle magnet. It's on my refrig. )

Farmers Market

Last Sunday, my mom and I went to farmers market. I like farmers market. It's very relaxing. We bought flowers, fruits and veggies. After my surgery this week, mom had a chance to walk to regular grocery store across the street from my place. She wanted to get more fruits, but didn't like the ones she saw in the store.

This morning, we went to farmers market again. It's just 5 minutes drive. I was feeling ok and decided to drive. first driving after surgery! I drove fine but I realized how much body movements are required when I put seat belts on and when I check the back side of the car. My pain is just on upper left of the body. I can just imagine how hard it would be if it's abdomen or back area. I'd better not drive on freeways. I'm not quick enough yet...

Doctor's appt - 2nd

My plastic surgeon injected 100cc today. It's 260cc total. I have more like compressed type of pain. My skin and tissue need to slowly grow back in order to adjust the size. It's still painful but it should get better everyday. It's good to feel things getting better.

Doctor's appt

I went to see my plastic surgeon this afternoon. He injected 60cc of saline into expander (temporally implant). He injected 100cc during the surgery so it's 160cc now. He will bring it up to 400 or 420cc eventually. There are some visible bruises from surgery and I'm still in pain. ugh.... Doctor gave me pain medication, lortab, which is 1.5 times stronger than vicodin. I take it, go to sleep, wake up with pain, take it again and go to sleep again. I'm sure it will get better day by day. It's nice that I can sleep as long as I want and wake up whenever I want.

I'm home!

My surgery went well yesterday. It took less than 3 hours. (supposed to be 4 hours) My lymph nodes were clear. I remember waking up in a recovery room with pain. I was transferred to my room around 12:30pm. My mind was clear enough and I was able to talk to my mom and friends who stayed with her. I was very relieved. They looked relieved, too.

I was in a lot of pain. They hooked up the machine that I can pump morphine as I need. Thank God, it helped. My incision is covered with wraps that has cute flowery prints. I wore a pair of socks with smiley face :) I thought those dressing they gave me was so cute and cheerful. Right now I have small plastic drainage tubes to drain fluids. It's connected to a small plastic bulb. I need to measure the amount of fluid everyday until the tubes are removed.

My doctors and nursing staff were very very nice. They work as a team and I'm very happy with them. I thank all of you for thinking of me and praying for me for this day. I thank you for being part of my life. I thank God for being with me.

Sentinel lymph node study

I had an appt for sentinel lymph node study today. This is to identify if cancer cells spread to lymph nodes. They inject a small dose of a low-level radioactive tracer. I thought it would be completed and get a result today. They will continue the rest of procedure tomorrow during the surgery. so no result today. They had to inject 4 times in the region. It was so painful! It hurt. I had to scream on the first one. I cried and screamed from second one. I was such an wimp... I didn't know my pain tolerance level was that low.

Christmas cookies

My best friend who lives in OC sent me this. ginger cookies!

I ate broken pieces and hung the ones with ribbon as ornaments. It tastes good and looks good!

Body Worlds

The other day, I had a chance to go see "Body Worlds 2" (http://www.bodyworlds.com/en.html) at Tech Museum (http://www.thetech.org/?gclid=CNzagfO3lJACFRwzYQodiUD-Pg) in downtown San Jose. I missed Body World 1 when they were in San Francisco several years ago. When I was in Chicago visiting my host family a couple of years ago, the museum of science and industry also had Body Worlds 1 but it was too crowded and we didn't go. Although the shows have been surrounded by controversy for a number of reasons, all I have is curiosity. I thought it was simply educational and very interesting. It is amazing how our human body functions. It is an art and science of God's creation.

Surgery date confirmed!

My surgery will be on 11th, Tuesday at 7:30am. I'm going to stay one or two nights in the hospital. I went to see my plastic surgeon this afternoon to go over some items. I'm so relieved that everything is set.

My mom came from Japan this morning. She was ready to come last week! I told her she didn't need to yet... She'll be here until first week of January. It means she and I will spend Chrismas and New Years together in US. It would be something different. I'm so grateful that she is here for me although she doesn't drive and can't speak English. I'm sure it is not easy for her to go through this with me, but she knows she is a big part of me and it is important for her to do what she can do right now.

Breast Reconstruction

My general surgeon sent me to a plastic surgeon right away after he found out that mastectomy is necessary. Breast reconstruction will be done at the same time with mastectomy. I went to see my plastic surgeon last Thursday. His office is like a beauty salon! Of course, he does cosmetic surgeries, face lift, tummy tuck, etc. I think it's good to know that doctors understand the importance of reconstruction medically and emotionally for women. I asked my plastic surgeon if it's a good idea to get both breasts done to make them look identical. He said it is not necessary right now with the look "you have to treat your cancer first."

At the time of surgery, he will put temporary implants called "expander", then insert saline everyday after surgery to make it appropriate size and let the skin grow back. I have to wait until I get pathology report to find out whether I need radiation or chemotherapy. After I'm done with follow-up treatment, he will take out the expander and put permanent implants. sounds nifty to me!

when is my surgery?

My lumpectomy was scheduled on Nov 27 initially. Since there were more tests and findings before Thanksgiving Day, they had to postpone it. My doctors are trying to coordinate their schedule right now and I was hoping they can do it this week. It sounded like the earliest would be next Monday, Dec 10th.

It is not pleasant to wait around but can't help it. I should use this time for something valuable.

I got this book a couple days ago. Susan Love, Breast book, with my doctor's recommendation.
http://www.amazon.com/Dr-Susan-Loves-Breast-Book/dp/0738202355
There is a lot of information. very important information. I'm reading the sections I'm interested right now.

I have cancer?

I was diagnosed with breast cancer on October 23, 2007. I found a small lump in the end of August. My radiologist performed core needle biopsy after she saw mammogram films and ultrasound in October. I had same type of lump (a bit bigger) almost 4 years ago. At that time, due to the size of lump, they had to do surgical biopsy and it wasn't cancerous.

well... this time, according to the first appt with my surgeon, it was supposed to be just lumpectomy since two nodules that they did the biopsy are close together. I wasn't worried too much. However, after MRI result and 2nd biopsy result came back, they found out I have more cancer than initially assessed and it is necessary to do mastectomy, instead.

"Oh no......." that was my first reaction. I'm only 34 years old. I have no family history.
After I went though some emotional roller coaster ride, I decided to express my feelings here. I started the blog in Japanese as well. Contents are slightly different, depending on what I'd like to say or how I'd like to describe. I hope this would be something to keep me busy and share my feelings with others.