New Start

I received an email from Iris's husband, Sam, to inform people that he and his daughter are going to move back to San Francisco where his family lives. He is going to sell the house in south bay, as well as furniture, electronics, etc. Iris loved the Japanese garden they had in their front yard.

I don't know if the cancer treatment made me emotionally weak or I'm just getting old. My big tears come out very quickly when I think of her. One day, we cried together, thinking we did something wrong in life and we got punished. Then, we said to each other "No, you are not a bad person. That's not why we got cancer."

There are things we can't understand. There are people we can't understand. It's frustrating when we can't make sense or feel unfair. Recently I often find myself being emotionally over-sensitive, because I feel I'm outside the circle or I'm not one of the people in the crowd. I feel jealous when I see a woman with nice boobs. I can't look at Victoria's secret catalog. Maybe I'm still angry at cancer. But life goes on. I need to move on. God is watching us how we move on. Iris must be so proud how Sam makes his decisions and does right things, but she would scold me for being a wimp :)